The Emotional Guide to Selling Your Home

Selling a house and moving on to the next chapter can be an emotional rollercoaster. The excitement of a fresh start competes with the attachment to the place you called home. It’s completely normal to feel stressed during this major life transition. 

By understanding the emotional challenges of the process, you can help make your move (or someone else’s) as smooth and positive an experience as possible. This blog explores common reasons for moving stress, as well as tips to ease anxiety, care for affected loved ones, and support friends who may be struggling with their own moves.

Why is Moving so Stressful?

In a study from the National Association of Realtors (NAR), 38 percent of survey respondents said moving is more stressful than parting ways with a significant other. What’s the source of that stress?

Anxiety often happens when you don’t have control over a certain situation, and many aspects of moving don’t allow you to take control. Offers fall through, closing dates change, and packing doesn’t always go as planned. If you’re moving more than an hour away from your current home, you will likely have to switch your doctors, dentist, hairdresser, and more, disrupting a large part of your routine. 

Many people also experience relocation depression, especially when moving to a new area that’s unfamiliar to them. Symptoms include social isolation, a sense of apathy toward meeting new people, and a loss of interest in hobbies or activities.

If you find yourself experiencing relocation depression, anxiety, and stress, you’re not alone! We aren’t mental health professionals, but we do work closely with homeowners and have experience doing our best to support them through the difficulties of moving.

How to Reduce Stress & Anxiety During Your Move

1. Determine If You’re Actually Ready to Sell

Why do you want to sell your home? Make a list of reasons to weigh the benefits of moving. Are you looking to downsize? Get a better deal financially? Relocate due to a new job offer? If your reasons don’t feel like enough to move, wait a few months and reassess. This extra time might be all you need to determine whether or not you’re ready.

2. Build a Strong Support System

Surrounding yourself with people who care about you is a great way to relieve some of the pressure from moving. If you have a partner you’re moving with, talk to them about what’s making you feel stressed or anxious. You might be able to rearrange responsibilities to take some of the weight off your shoulders.

Talk to a close friend who isn’t directly in the situation for their objective advice. Their outsider’s perspective will most likely see things differently than you or your moving partner. And often, talking through the negative thoughts in your head will alleviate some pressure. 

Sometimes, it's the physical acts of moving that cause the most stress. Ask your partner or friends to help you pack early so you can get the mundane tasks out of the way.

Find a therapist to support you, whether through video calls or in-person sessions. A mental health professional will supply you with tools to access when you feel a wave of stress or anxiety come on. Working with a therapist is a great part of a routine; establishing one can also be extremely helpful during your move.

3. Get Closure in Your Old Home

It’s not easy to leave a place you called home. There are a few ways you can say goodbye to your old home to bring you more closure: 

Walk through your home before you move, taking photos and videos of each room and saying goodbye to them one-at-a-time. 

Spend some time reflecting on your favorite memories. 

Consider connecting with a local artist to create a custom art piece or frame a few of your favorite photos of the home.

4. Remove Yourself from Emotional Situations

Your favorite parts of the home you’re selling might not be the favorites of others. Getting lower offers might feel unexpected because you find value in certain aspects of your home. If you can, remove yourself from situations where you know you will feel uncomfortable or emotional. Confide in your partner or friends to help you when you need it. Having a real estate agent you trust will be helpful in this situation; let them know which situations are emotional for you and how they can support you.

5. Involve Yourself In Your New Community

When it comes to putting yourself out there, the first step is always the hardest. Find an activity in the community that you think will bring you joy and try it out! If you feel you can’t do it alone, participate with your partner or a friend you know in the area. 

This activity could be anything from a walk around a farmers market to a neighborhood book club. Decide what feels most approachable to you and seize the day!

If you’re relocating to Vermont for the first time, congratulations! We’re happy to welcome you as a new Vermonter. We recommend downloading our Relocation Guide to help you get to know the local community. Inside, you’ll find profiles for the areas surrounding Chittenden County, tips for moving to Vermont, and our best advice for newcomers.

6. Find the Excitement

Sometimes the stress of moving can overtake feelings of excitement for a new step in your life. Change can be scary, but it’s also extremely exciting. Remind yourself why you’re making this move and the things that make you excited about it.

Make a list of what’s causing you stress in a journal, and then make a separate list of all the things you’re looking forward to. Sometimes, getting thoughts out of your head and onto the page is enough to take the weight off of you. Talk with partners, friends, and family members about what’s making you excited, giving it equal weight to the thoughts causing you stress.

How to Support the People Around You During a Move

Even if you’re not feeling stress and anxiety about a move, the people around you might be. Check in with the others in your household to keep an open discussion about the feelings that come with moving. 

Helping Children Cope with a Move

As adults, we’re typically more accustomed to moving than kids. If you have kids in your household, it’s important to support them as much as possible during a move, especially if they’re changing schools. 

To make this process go as smoothly as possible, set up a tour with your kids’ teachers or a different faculty member so they can get to know the school before their first day. 

Throughout the process, be communicative with your kids. Keeping them involved will help them understand and get excited about moving. Encourage them to ask you questions and give them genuine answers in response. Recognize how big of a change this is for them, and support the feelings that might come along with that.

Check In with Your Partner

If you’re moving with a partner, be sure to check in with them to see how they’re feeling. These “temperature checks” are a great way to communicate and connect through a stressful time. 

Use these questions as conversation starters:

• What is your stress level, on a scale from 1 to 10?
• Is there anything I can take off your plate to remove some stress?
• How can I best support you through situations that make you feel stressed?
• What are you feeling most excited about?
• What is bringing you joy that doesn’t have anything to do with our move?

These questions are just a few ways to connect. Ask questions that come up and keep the conversation natural for best results. Sometimes, all you need to do is ask in order for someone to feel comfortable enough to share their feelings.

How to Support Others in Their Move

If you’re not moving, but people around you are, it’s up to you to be the support system you would want. 

Here are just a few ways to make someone’s day a little brighter and easier during their move:

• Offer to help pack, physically move items, and help them put things away.
• Buy them groceries and cook them a meal (something easy and reheatable).
• Help them clean, paint, and decorate the new place to make it feel more like home.
• Be a sounding board for the many decisions they have to make. Allow them to think through the hard questions with you by their side.
• If they have kids, offer to babysit while they pack or unpack.
• If they have pets, take them for a walk or offer to bring them to your house for a few nights to minimize distractions.
• If they’re moving far away, be there as a long-distance friend. Call them regularly, text them asking for updates, and encourage them to get involved in their new community.
• Encourage them to take breaks during the process. Invite them out for coffee or lunch as a break from the physical and mental labor of moving.

Do what you can to be the best support system you can be without draining yourself in the process. 

Moving can be a stressful event, but it doesn’t have to be entirely overwhelming. By acknowledging the emotional challenges, taking proactive steps to reduce anxiety, and fostering a strong support system, you can make your move smoother and more positive. Remember to be patient with yourself and loved ones going through this transition. The stress of a move is temporary, but the excitement of a fresh start and new memories to be made lies ahead. Try your best to keep an open mind while acknowledging and addressing your pain points. With some mindfulness and the right coping strategies, you'll get through this stressful time and settle into your new home before you know it.

When you’re looking for a new home, we’ll be by your side through the entire process. Connect with one of our agents to make buying and selling as easy as possible.